- Good at audio/video
- Good at video games
- Cool hair
- I was clever enough to know you’d get here

Boo bloody hoo. You won’t get anywhere feeling sorry for your teenage self, and if you keep this shit up you’ll be back here in ten years worried to ladder in Heart of The Swarm because once upon a time you lost and someone decided to call you a noob.

I’m not a doctor, but I am prescribing you 500mgs of cowboy the fuck up. Tonight, you’re going to think of a strat that doesn’t say “copper league forever,” you’re going to find out what your race’s latest GSL champion did in the finals, and then you’re going to use that build in the next 5 games on ladder. Doesn’t even fucking matter if you want to win or not, you’re going to do that build exactly how it says on Liquipedia, and then you’re going to see how long you can survive while they try to cheese you.

If you lose, you tell the guy “good mother fucking game, you beat me fair and square,” then you leave the game. Don’t fucking bm him, that’s expected. That’s probably typical of you. You’re going to thank him for showing a flaw in your play. Ooze testosterone on the ground and proudly declare yourself a “Grand Master,” because if you fuck this up I’m going to half-assedly follow you around from comment to comment posting a crude drawing of you in a tutu having your little sissy legs broken by a monster made of dicks.

I’ll even make this easy on you so you won’t boohoo any more than you already are. Fruitdealer, this amazing Zerg player who is far better at being a man than you are, won the first GSL against when roaches had 1 range, banshees were free and marines 1 shotted hatcheries. Man up kid and get yourself out of the dumpster.